parenting

I am in another one of those tough parenting quandaries. I hate this. Why didn't anyone tell me how hard parenting was before I got involved? And now I am 3 kids deep into this hole, but still loving it.

Dillon is at camp this week. Not a drop off on Sunday pick up on Saturday type camp, just a day camp where he is supposed to be having a ball with friends he hasn't seen since last year at camp. A camp that this week is focusing on sports, a trip to a local park for sponge baseball, and a trip to the Rockies game on Wednesday. Fun stuff! This is NOT the experience he had yesterday.

When I picked him up, everything seemed fine. The room a little sparse, but kids having fun. Dillon was deep into a game of UNO with a few other campers and one of the counselors. I asked him how his day went. He said "fine" in a hurried manner, and that he just needed to find the book that he had brought downstairs with him. Okay...but then, he does get distracted easily by books that he loves, and he had just gotten this one for his birthday the day before.

The book was not where he had left it. He searched around and then went to ask another camper that I guess had been looking at it. The camper told us that the book had been flushed down the toilet. "That can't be" I said, "Let's go ask the counselor about it." The kid said "it's true. Go ask him, he knows all about it." The counselor that Dillon had just been sitting with, playing UNO.

We walked back over to him and asked. Sure enough, the book had been taken into the bathroom, peed on, and flushed down the toilet by another camper. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The counselor apologized then told me that he was still trying to figure out who exactly had done it and to not have Dillon bring personal items to camp with him.

We left. Dillon crying. Later in the car I asked him if he had had fun at camp. It was okay. Did anything else happen while you where there? Well, I got punched in the chest and in the privates. WHAT? Did you tell anyone? Did you do anything? No.

I immediately called the director and left her a message that we will not be back the rest of the week and that I wanted my money back. This is not the camp that we signed up for! Kevin had a different opinion and went in to talk to the director and staff today. Not that he wants this to happen to Dillon, he just wants Dillon to learn to stick up for himself.

We start out parenting tell our children not to hit. To use gentle touches. To be nice, kind, share, etc... At what point do you have to change that message so that your child is not the victim of bullies? How do you explain to your child that it is okay to defend yourself, NOT to start fights, but to finish them? Especially when schools tell them that it is not okay to fight back. All students caught fighting will be disciplined. Isn't it true that if we do not teach our children to protect themselves that they will be walked upon the rest of their lives? These are not our battles to fight, but as parents, giving our children the power to defend themselves. Isn't this a life long lesson that is worthy of being taught?

How hard it is, when we see our children's tears, not to fight back! And yes, sometimes we do, as Kevin did today, but trying not to let Dillon know all that he was doing to help the situation. I think that this also has to do with other parenting situations as well. When is the time to let your child fall on their face so that they learn? We, as parents, can not continue to catch their every fall. I think that this society thing about coddling children is why so many adult children move back in with their parents. Today's young adults have been over nurtured. They do not know how to take care of themselves. I just hate the fact that it is my turn to teach my young babies these hard life lessons.

But teach them I will.