A new chapter...

I always knew that I would stay home when my children arrived. In my opinion, it is one of the best things that you can do for your kids. Being able to do it though isn't always an option.

When I was pregnant with Dillon, Kevin and I talked about the logistics of me staying home, especially about the loss of the income. It was a very difficult decision and took a leap of faith, but we knew that I needed to be at home.

I was able to figure out a schedule where I could work about 12 hours a week: 6 hours at home, 6 hours in office. I could spend most of my time with Dillon, and still be able to work a little. Plus, Wednesdays were Kevin's day off, and he could spend a few hours alone with D. Then after about a year, I was no longer needed at work. I was home full time.

I have been home full time for almost 7 years. Most of the time it is fabulous! I have free time with the kids, time for the housework, time for me! But it's not always good.

Yes, I absolutely love the freedom. Not being tied down. Being able to help out at Dillon's school, Bailey's school, at my church, has helped me stay busy. But, it also makes me more prone to depression.

Time alone, time on the computer, napping, eating. Not good.

Last Spring, while I was pregnant with Avery, I was offered an opportunity to help out at the preschool at my church. Being that I originally went to college to study working with this age child, I took the job. I was working as a long term sub, while another teacher took classes in the mornings. I was able to go in every day and work for 3 hours or so. If it was Bailey's day for school, she went to her school. If not, she came with me. It was perfect! I have been helping them out ever since, just not on such a regular schedule. Now it is more like here and there, when they need me. It truly renewed my love of working with children! And it helped stave off any depression during the pregnancy. I was happy.

Now I am wanting more. I had the opportunity earlier in this school year to apply for a job at Dillon's school. I thought long and hard about it. Kindergarten. Short term fill in for a maternity leave. It was the perfect thing for me, but I had Avery. Was I willing to put her in daycare? Was I willing to lose her first year? Was I willing to give up nursing? No, no, and no. I need to wait.

Now I have decided to go forward and apply for a part time postion for the next school year. Avery will be one, and not full time nursing anymore. I will still lose out on being with her during the mornings, but I think I need to take the chance. Plus, it is not a given that I will be offered a position. I would be just as happy to work as a "perferred sub." But I am going for the Kindergarten position.

So I have been working on my application. Redoing my resume'. Working on a Personal Statement. And I have a "job coach." My little sister. I write up a beginning resume et al, and she looks over it, makes suggestions in purple font with little "Robynisms" like, "Yo", and "blah blah". I make changes, and she rereads it. I think we are even getting close to being done.

I am excited, but really scared. I know that this is something that I would be GREAT at! It is just getting back in the saddle that is really hard.

Thank you Bob for helping me. Who knew little sisters knew so much?

Progress!

We have progress! Avery actually ate 1/2 a thing of sweet potatos!!

Yeah!!

Vacation?

We are going to the big "D" and I do mean Dallas! (country music reference)

Kevin's AAA team won State!!!
And now they are on to Regionals in Dallas!
And I get to go!!!

The grandparents are coming down to take care of Dillon and Bailey. It should be pretty interesting, Dillon has a hockey tournament in Colorado Springs this weekend. But as Kevin said, they have been doing hockey tournaments for 23 years or something like that. I know that the kids will have a ball with Maga and Papa.

So, Kevin is headed to Dallas on Wednesday, and I will catch up on Thursday morning. Wow, a "real" getaway. Real if you count a few hours of every day will be spent in a hockey arena. Otherwise, a nice hotel, good food, college friends to see, time alone--kinda. This is gonna be great!

Kevin's team is still ranked 7th in the nation, but that should change by this weekend. They have been playing really well and are expected to go to nationals. It all depends on how they play this week. Go Thunderbirds!

Wish us luck!

At last!!!

At last we have found something that this little one will eat!!!
She likes bananas!!!

Well, "likes" is a strong word. She tolorates bananas is more like it. Once you can pry open her mouth and get a spoon full in, she will not spit it out.

This is a step forward. I am hopeful.

Now if I can get more than 1 spoonful in, maybe she will sleep.

Hard Work

Being a parent is really hard work!

Someone might tell you before you have kids, but you might not really understand until you have one. And not just a baby one. It has taken me many years of being a parent to really understand how difficult it is.

We are in charge of molding and shaping these young lives so that they can be amazing people. Moral people. People that understand how the world works, and how to use that to better themselves and society. These are not easy lessons to teach. Nor are they a 5 minute teaching moment. It is a lifetime of teaching moments.

How could we possibly do this? It takes perservance. It takes a lot of patience. It takes self control. It takes work!

One of my daily prayers is that God gives me the guidance to raise these children up to be as He would want them to be. Good people that love the Lord and are productive members of society. Please God give me the strength to do this task as You would like it to be done.

The reason this is coming up today is Dillon is having a bad morning. Last night at dinner he was telling me about how much he loved his school. If he could be there all the time, his brain would be bigger than his skull. He truly loves to learn! But this morning he was hiding under his covers, saying that he didn't want to go today. Classic sign that something was wrong. Finally he was able to tell me that he was being picked on by 2 kids. How easy it would be for me to go in and take care of the situation, but does that help him? He needs to tell these kids to stop it! He needs to talk to his teacher. He needs to learn this lesson so that he can stand up for himself. It could break my heart.

Oh Lord, please be with Dillon today. Please give him the strength to stop the words of others, through words of his own. Please help him to learn this very difficult lesson. And give me the strength to let him do it on his own.

Ariel is coming to Denver

The Little Mermaid, A Broadway Musical is coming to Denver and someone in our little family is over the moon.

The mail was brought into our house yesterday and laid out on the kitchen table. A brightly colored piece of junk mail was quickly noticed and pulled out for closer inspection. It was Ariel! And she was coming!

Now the countdown has begun. We have to purchase tickets (at $20 each for a weekday evening balcony seat) before March 17th. Then comes the very long wait. She will arrive August 1st. Only 5 more months to wait. Only 5 more months to hear about it. Hear about it just about every day.

If only Kevin would quit bugging me about it! ;)

A Good Book...

There is nothing like laying in bed with a good book first thing in the morning....





And by "good book", I mean tastes good.
Love, Avery

getting a picture

My Father-in-law has a saying. When you are trying to get a family picture with kids in it "the chances of getting a good picture is 1 over the number of kids squared."

Well, we took the kids to get their pictures taken this weekend. And at first things didn't look good.

Avery was supposed to nap on the way there. Didn't happen.

Dillon's goofy smile returned.

Bailey had this shoulder shug thing going, along with a tight lipped smile.

Oh no.. is this wasted time?

But wait, we are working with professional kid picture takers here. Surprise! 2 out of 3 are smiling! Wait, we are having fun! They are laughing. Yeah!

If only Avery had taken her nap. Oh well. There is always next time.

One of the negative aspects of Denver driving...

My kids got to experience one of the negative aspects of Denver driving last night. They saw someone flip a bird.

Fantastic.

I was driving up to one of Dillon's hockey games. It was rush hour traffic. I looked back... there was plenty of room... I started to merge into the left lane. Horn blaring, the "gentleman" speeds up and cuts me off... all while flipping me the bird. Then I look back at the kids. Dillon asks "what does this mean?"

And then this morning, Bailey does it. "Mom, what does this mean?"

Great...another piece of their innocence gone thanks to today's society. A fabulous end to an already fabulous day.

Growing family...

Once again our family has expanded by 2. Bailey was given a new pet on her birthday. And Dillon got his as a Valentine present.

The nice thing is that I am not allergic to these pets! And I don't have to pick up after them either. Dillon and Bailey have made the commitment to be personally responsible for all the care for these guys. They are in charge of feeding, clean up, exercise, and any other needs that may come up. And they have to earn the money that will be needed to take care of their new friends.

I know that this seems to be a lot of responsiblity for a 5 and 7 year old. But I have faith in them. I think that they can do it.

A cow, Oreo, and a frog, Mr Green, can be a challenge, but when it come to the computer, these kids can handle it!

Did I happen to mention that they are webkinz ? =)

Creative Manifesto

I do not consider myself an artist by any means. Creative, yes, Artistic, no. There is a big difference in my eyes.

Being artistic, in my eyes, requires more flexibility in your person. Being able to see things in a completely different way. Living in or around a "circle", instead of a box.

I am not flexible. Physically, ha ha, or mentally. Things are scheduled. They have order. They are what they are. Schedules and routines are my friends.

Being creative, in my eyes, allows for being open and letting ideas come. Most of my creative moments come when I am doing mundane things or trying to go to sleep. If I need to think something through, I usually head to the computer to play hearts. While I am playing, I am not thinking. But my mind is working around the idea. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

The reason all this is coming to light is because my sister showed me Ali Edwards blog last week. For those of you scrapbookers, no introduction to who Ali Edwards is is needed. For those non scrappers- she is a queen in the scrap arena. She is a part of why we love Creative Keepsakes magazine. Anyways- Ali asked the people on her blog to write out a Creative Manifesto.

"What is a manifesto? According to my handy dandy computer dictionary a manifesto is 'a public declaration of policy and aims, esp. one issued before an election by a political party or candidate.' Essentially, it is a cool, fancy name for a mission statement - a way to describe your overall creative purpose."

So it got me thinking about why I scrap. So this is what I came up with...

Play

Remember

Document

Explore

Make it mine

This is why I scrap. So next time I am out wanting to spend money on this craft when I shouldn't, I need to think about this. And remember that I am just documenting the history of our family and that it is a very worthy cause! =)

Bumble Bee's birthday!

It is the Bumble Bee's birthday!! She is 5 today! and I can't believe it. I still picture her more like 3 years old. But she doesn't like that. "Mom, I'm 5!"

So yesterday we made cookies for her to share with her class. Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Todd got her this really cute cookie cutter and decorating set for Christmas. She made crowns, dresses, purses, and shoes to share with her class.

I hope she has a great day!

Happy Birthday Bailey girl!

A quiet moment

I love nursing! I would never be able to find adequate words to explain why. It could be as technical as supplying life sustaining nutrition to my child, it being nature's best food supply for babies, etc... It could be as simple as taking a few minutes every few hours just for me and her.

But I really think it is all the in between stuff that really gets me.

Her hands. Sometimes she strokes my side. Other times she grabs my shirt. But a lot of times lately she has been exploring my face while she eats. She raises her hand up and gently touches my face. My nose, my eyes, my mouth. And she just watches with her eyes.

That is something else. Her eyes.

When she was born, I could tell when she was listening to other things by watching her eyes. Now she just turns to see what it is that she is hearing.

The other thing with her eyes is that when she is nursing and the lighting is just right, I see myself in her pupil. Today, I watched her eyes as she reached for my face. It was all there to see. Amazing.

I have tried to get a picture of this. Tried to get a picture that adequately states what I see while I am nursing. One of her pupil. Or just one of the overall experience and just like the movement that I can't capture, I can't seem to capture this either.

At least I know that I have another 6 months or so to enjoy these special moments with her.

Sleep needed...

God made babies cute for a reason. My family and I have discussed this before, but I think this is a real fact. All babies are cute, because it helps us get past all those late night feedings, yucky diapers, messy messes. Babies are a lot of work!

Take this one for example. Isn't she cute trying cereal out for the 1st time (January 7th)? Doesn't seem to care too much for it, does she? Well, one month and 2 days later you would think that we would have no further complains. Babies love food, right? Sure it takes something like 7 introductions to get used to a new food, but by now all is peachy keen, right? She is eatting it up, she is sleeping better. NOT!

Yesterday was her 6 month check up. The first thing I said to our angel of a nurse practioner... "how can I make her sleep? She won't eat!" Then I went on to explain that I have tried rice cereal with breast milk, with water, with carrots, and with applesauce. All are a no go. How about oatmeal? nope. Carrots alone? nice try! Applesauce? Who doesn't love applesauce? Avery. At least this one has a chance in the future though. There was a glimmer of hope- at least she didn't gag on it. Apparently she doesn't like the texture of these foods. Therapy suggestions. Finger therapy!

Yep- she gets to sit in her high chair, and play with her food. Then she might put a finger in her mouth. Finally she might eat it. Sounds like bath night every night to me!

Maybe in a month or two she will actually eat. And then she will be getting enough calories during the day to be able to sleep through the night.

Maybe...

Oh yeah- I also want to bottle baby's breath. I just love that smell!

Memories fade

Babies have this amazing way of moving. All babies have it. You recognize it every time you see it. Aww.. look at the startle reflex. Oh- did you see her hands? The ol' one eye. You know what I mean. You recognize it, but you also forget it.

I am always surprised by this. When Dillon was born, I was amazed by all these things. When Bailey was born, I was amazed by all these things. And again with Avery. I am sure if we have more I will be amazed by them. These things never cess to amaze me.

But what gets me is that I can not figure out how to capture it. How can I get a picture? A still frame can't possibly capture what I am looking for. I want so badly to remember but my memory just can't keep hold of it all. Even as I write this, I can't remember certain specifics for examples. Oh sure, I can say that one hand wave. And you would say, yeah sure. And I don't even realize as these things are disappearing before my eyes. You love to watch your children grow. You relish each and every new thing and the other things just melt away.

It isn't a bad thing to always look to the future. It is quite good and positive to be a forward thinker. But I just want, somehow, to be able to look back and remember.

A work in progress...

I have limited time to myself everyday. I say "by myself" but I mean me and Avery. She is my attachment and will be for another 6 months at least. So even my limited time is even more limited than I would like. During these few hours every weekday morning I try to do what I can. Relax, grocery shop, clean house, be creative, whatever I can. Then the bumble bee flies home. After that, little gets done.

So this morning I take some time to scrap. I am always thinking about scrapping. Colors, pages, pictures, wording. What I have. What I want to get. What I need to get. Unfortunately though, I haven't been scrapping a lot. Ever since I got pregnant with Avery, I haven't had the energy to be creative. So I am trying to make a comeback. A few weekends ago, I got to go to Fort Morgan where my friend Angel lives. She has a whole room dedicated to scrapbooking. She also has just about anything you might need.

I love going out there. Not only can we scrap, we can talk!! Sometimes, we are quietly working together, only offering advice now and again. But sometimes, we just sit and talk. We both need it! And last weekend was my turn to spill. It was therapy, plus I got 6 pages done. I know this isn't a whole lot, but it gets me motivated to keep going when I get home.

But the reason this layout is a work in progress isn't just because Bailey got home and therefore I needed to get cleaned up. It is because I left my big sticker/rub-ons/accessory album out in Fort Morgan. Oh no.

Luckily, Angel is coming here this weekend!! More scrapping will be done soon!!

A boy's posting...

Well.....

Oh yeah... I STARTED being a goalie on DEC.\3\06 it was very hard .And then it was school break and then I went to wilson wy. (as you see in this picture here) Well, after Christmas we went to this outside ice arena near our house in Jackson. And then on the 26th at night, nobody was there. So me and my dad were practicing with the goalie stuff that I need to learn about. Then on the 27th, there was a family there and we played a game. And then I was the only goalie there. And there were a lot of players. My dad was playing for my team. And there was this nice little guy named Kork and he was nice to me. And then the game was pretty hard, cause all these guys were like IP Ds or pee wee players, I had no chance at saving those shots. But I did save this one really good shot. I think that player was really good. I had a really nice time in Jackson. Then we went back home. And then we had hockey back at South Suburban, and I felt much better playing there. I really like the game.

Dillon

Brownies?

I am going to use my sister's blog, http://3peasinbrooklyn.blogspot.com/ , as an example for mine. Which for the casual viewer means that you might see a picture of brownies....mmm brownies...but that I might talk about something different. Although a whole blog on brownies might be interesting...can't you just smell them?... Anyways, I don't think my sister would mind, even if she is my younger sister, because she is the one that suggested that I do this whole blog thing anyways. And how does someone that doesn't like chocolate, love brownies like I do? Again I digress.

So I was getting ready this morning for church, thinking about all the things that I could talk about on here. Like, why is Avery at 6 months, still getting up several times a night? But she doesn't like the cereal I try to feed her so that she can be more full and sleep better. Or Bailey, who got a birthday invitation in her cubby last week for someone in the afternoon ECE class, therefore someone that she doesn't even know, and yet she still begs to go to the party. "But I'll meet him there!" Or Dillon, who at 7, thinks he is smarter than us sometimes. You can just hear his brain whirling sometimes..."I know I can only take one book to school at a time, but if Mom doesn't look in here, she will never know how many I have." "Um, no thanks Mom, I will pack my own snack." Nothing fishy about that.

So it seems that with 3 kids, 2 adults, and for now anyways, 2 cats (one of which is in heat, and driving me crazy with her moaning), I will probably have something to say just about any time.

Now, back to the brownies...

Starting out

Well, this is a first. My sister claims that I need a blog and so here we are. I can definately see how it can be used as a type of therapy. A place to brag, whine, celebrate, share et al. And with all these people in the house, I am sure someone will always have something to say or have something on which to report.

Well, I guess we should have a little introduction. My name is Tara and I am a mom to 3. Dillon, 7 1/2, Bailey, 5, and Avery, 6 months. I am married to Kevin and have been for almost 13 years. I am a "stay at home" mom that likes to read, loves sudoku, and scrapbooks.

Dillon is in 2nd grade. He loves hockey!!! He has been playing hockey for 3 years now and just recently started playing goalie. He also loves math, reading, lacrosse, Krav Maga, and playing on the computer. He also has a loose tooth that I want to pull so bad!

Bailey is about to turn 5. She is in preschool and learning a new letter each week. She recently told me that she doesn't feel ready to start at Dillon's school, which I think is so funny. She has 7 months until Kindergarten. I think she has time to get ready. She is a ball of happiness. Always moving, always laughing and smiling. A total whirlwind. She is in ballet and just recently started ice skating lessons.

Avery girl is so sweet. She just learned to turn over back to tummy. She learned tummy to back a week and a half ago? And just last night she turned over the other way! She hates to be on her tummy though, and was immediately unhappy to find herself on her tummy. And yet when you turn her back over, she immediately then starts trying again. Silly girl.

Kevin works and works and works some more. And when he is not working, he is coaching hockey. He is the assistant coach for a AAA U16 team that is national ranked top 10. He is also the head coach for a local high school team, and if that is not enough, he helps coach the goalies on Dillon's team. And when he is working, he is working in the hockey field. He is the team sales director for Players Bench. Dealing with lots of crazy parents is the hardest part of his job. Then, poor guy, he has to come home to me- sometimes the craziest parent of all. =)

Well, that is all for now, but I am sure I will be back soon to update on all the craziness that is our family.