Christmas week

So last week was crazy. I found it really hard to think beyond the stress of the season. I know that I still did small kind things and I have continued to pick up random piles of dog poop, but overall I was not as able to think of others. This saddens me not only because of this project, but also because of this season. This season of giving and love. The ultimate gift God gave to the world and we are consumed by the "responsibilities" we or society have placed upon ourselves during this season. When I was asked to give extra at random grocery stores or other outlets, I felt ashamed that I was not able to. I have been overwhelmed with the stress of this expensive season.

Then during this week, the final week of school for the year, I was ashamed instead of grateful when I received presents from coworkers. Ashamed that I was not able to reciprocate.  For me, being a gifts love language person, I felt as if I was letting those that I care about most down. I am surrounded, at work, by people that truly care for me. I know. And I am so grateful for this and I couldn't show them.

In tonight's Christmas Eve sermon, the pastor spoke about which role do you most associate with from the Christmas story. The role of Mary- I understand what you need of me and I am willing. The role of Caesar Augustus- making a list and checking it twice but selfishly- making sure the taxes' collected were all that he deserved. The role of Joseph- a man of God- engaged to a virgin- who just so happens to be pregnant but it's God's baby. Even if you truly believe- as he did- and continued to play the role he was assigned- people would talk and he was stressed but stayed the course because that was what was expected of him. Finally, the role of the shepherds- who had to hear the news and see the child in order to fully believe. Where are you in this story? I feel like Joseph. I can name that God is present in my life and the gifts that he has given me- but still I carry the stress and therefore am moving forward through life. I need to learn to give it truly to Him and let God.

Why did I divert my thoughts to the sermon? Because if I truly think about these weeks- everyday there was a moment that I reached out to others. Every. Day. But because of the stress I put on myself- I was not able to enjoy those random acts. They were small, but they counted.

So I come to this... last night I enjoyed an evening with some friends. We went out and I got home around midnight. As I was entering my apartment area, a strange dog came out of nowhere. He almost head butted my leg in happiness to see someone. He was sweet and well mannered and there was no one else around. It was 25 degrees out and midnight- what was I to do? I brought him home. I had to keep my Lucy in her kennel all night and Cat tried to take off two of my toes in fright (I have three nice claw marks across my foot), but I helped a dog.

This morning, I took the dog down to the office and not 2 minutes after I left, I got a call from the owner. He had been up searching for hours. But his dog was safe and returned to him. He said I made his day.

One big act in the last two weeks, but I am ok with that. God has done a million small things for me during that time and I am grateful for each one. Listen to the small acts- for they can speak just as loudly.